Summary: How To Win Friends And Influence People | 9781451621716 | Dale Carnegie

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• 2 The Big Secret Of Dealing With People

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• What is the only one way under high heaven to get anybody to doanything?

  By making the other person want to do it. Remember, there is no other way.

• The only way I can get you to do anything is by giving you what youwant. What do you want?

  
  Sigmund Freud said that everything you and I do springs from two
  motives: the sex urge and the desire to be great.
  
  
  John Dewey, one of America's most profound philosophers, phrased
  it a bit differently. Dr. Dewey said that the deepest urge in human
  nature is "the desire to be important."

• What is the deepest principle in human nature?

  
  Lincoln once began a letter saying: "Everybody likes a compliment."
  
  
  William James said: "The deepest principle in human nature is the
  craving to be appreciated." He didn't speak, mind you, of the "wish"
  or the "desire" or the "longing" to be appreciated. He said the
  "craving" to be appreciated.
  
  
  Here is a gnawing and unfaltering human hunger, and the rare
  individual who honestly satisfies this heart hunger will hold people in
  the palm of his or her hand and "even the undertaker will be sorry
  when he dies."

• What is one of the chief distinguishing differences between mankind and the animals?

  
  The desire for a feeling of importance is one of the chief
  distinguishing differences between mankind and the animals.

• What does the desire for a feeling of importance lead to?

  - poverty-stricken grocery clerk to study some law books - Lincoln
  
  - inspired Dickens to write his immortal novels.
  
  - This desire inspired Sir Christoper Wren to design his symphonies in stone.
  
  - This desire made Rockefeller amass millions that he never spent!

• How did Charles Schwab deal with people?

  
  "I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasm among my people," said
  Schwab, "the greatest asset I possess, and the way to develop the
  best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement.
  
  "There is nothing else that so kills the ambitions of a person as
  criticisms from superiors. I never criticize any-one. I believe in giving
  a person incentive to work. So I am anxious to praise but loath to
  find fault. If I like anything, I am hearty in my approbation and lavish
  in my praise. "

• What did Andrew Carnegie write on his tombstone?

  
  Carnegie wanted to praise his assistants even on his tombstone. He
  wrote an epitaph for himself which read: "Here lies one who knew
  how to get around him men who were cleverer than himself:"

• The difference between appreciation and flattery?

  
  That is simple. One is sincere and the other insincere. One comes from the heart out; the other from the teeth out. One is unselfish; the other selfish.
  One is universally admired; the other universally condemned.

• How to appreciate and not flatter?

  
  When we are not engaged in thinking about some definite problem,
  we usually spend about 95 percent of our time thinking about
  ourselves. Now, if we stop thinking about ourselves for a while and
  begin to think of the other person's good points, we won't have to
  resort to flattery so cheap and false that it can be spotted almost
  before it is out of the mouth.

• 3 Part Three - How To Win People To Your Way Of Thinking

• 3.1 You Can't Win An Argument

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• How do you end hatred? How do you end a misunderstanding? 

  
  Buddha said: "Hatred is never ended by hatred but by love," and a
  misunderstanding is never ended by an argument but by tact,
  diplomacy, conciliation and a sympathetic desire to see the other
  person's viewpoint.